it's actually so funny how challenging it is to write bona fide graphic, horny smut. like people don't give smut writers enough credit. you are constantly running out of words to describe the same 2-4 body parts and same 4-6 motions. you are constantly attempting to do interesting and dynamic things in the prose with this extremely limited set of words. you are looking at your prose for the nastier bits and wondering if it actually sounds hot or if it just sounds goofy. you are then toning down your prose and then wondering if it now sounds tasteful or if it's just boring. you do ctrl+F for the word "cock" and there are 37 instances of it in the doc but you hate the 1-2 acceptable synonyms so there's nothing much you can do about it

And because you know other authors do this Spectacularly and you wanna be Good At Writing Smut, you’re trying to figure the scene out as essentially a dance or a song or a fight that builds and builds and builds to a huge climax and then resolves to a close. You’d love for the reader to be as breathless as the blorbo, it’s extra credit that way. HOW TO BUILD TO A CRESCENDO, fic writers edition. I am weeping.

I'm sorry, I'm adding this to the post because I ctrl+F and

Lord knows I'm not the best at it, but I do a decent job, so here's some smut writing tips for anyone searching for them:

It is more distracting to use synonyms than to just repeat a word. 'Cock' is like 'said'-- it becomes invisible to a reader after a while.

If you are still self-conscious about repetition, try to describe more of other things going on rather than just what the genitals are getting up to. If you are really trying to highlight the sex, engage the other senses to create a sense of heightened sensation. If you are using sex as a way of conveying something else, intersperse it throughout the sexual descriptions.

Speaking of the something else: the best sex scenes are the same as any other scene, meaning they contribute to the development of characters, relationships, theme, etc. Even the eighth time of vanilla sex between a loving couple should in some way add something to the story, even if it's just exploring how much they love each other.

For pacing, reading a sex scene should feel like sex i.e. there should be foreplay, a steady build, a climax, and an afterglow. That doesn't necessarily mean the sex: sometimes the climax is ejaculation, sometimes it's emotional catharsis, sometimes it's a release of narrative tension. Once you know what the climax of the scene is, you can gradually build the narrative or characters towards it as well as their bodies. The foreplay is not just in the making out but the tension that leads to the characters having sex in the first place. And the afterglow can be any form of resolution that comes from whatever took place during the sex.

I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.

"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy

They also refuse to actually show the parameters you searched for. If you sort by “upload date,” the first few videos might be more recent ones by upload date, but anything past that you’ll find a video that was uploaded five years ago, then five months ago, then three years ago, etc, which—NO! That’s NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!! PUT THEM IN ORDER!!!

Also sometimes the “people also watched” bullcrap will not only be entirely unrelated, it will also be videos with violent, sometimes outright triggering thumbnails. I’ve gotten some AWFUL unrelated video thumbnails just when searching for video game music videos.

If you use Firefox this extension is god send :D

man if I saw an elf nobody would be able to stop me

From what

nobody would be able to stop me

fucked up evil creature experiences remorse

drew @gothipuff ’s pretty girl rio + some bread rolls of her ocs for artfight <3

the problem with fanfiction is that theres too many coffeeshop aus and not enough aus where the characters are trapped in an alivehouse psychological horror situation or perhaps a labyrinth of sorts

workout (syrsei edition)

Hyperion's Eternity

Artfight Attack 4 for Floressas! i adore this oc design sm omg

paranoid doll top surgery tattoo be like (he rots in my brain forever)

he is DETERMINED to cuddle with the kitty that doesn’t like him lmao

LITTLE MAN WAS SUCCESSFUL!!!

one of the characters in harvest moon DS that u can marry is a mute woman who’s always asleep on the 255th floor of the mines. u literally have to make it to the 255th floor of the mines every time you want to see her or give her a gift. her favorite item (the only item she loves) is golden lumber which is the most expensive item in game. here’s a picture of her asleep in the mines (which are full of monsters btw) i dont understand anything about this tbh. complete respect to anyone who actually manages to marry her i don’t think i ever bothered to meet her once 

Beta release of the theme builder!

Learn more about the theme builder + start building your theme

The theme builder is ready to be used! Since this is the beta version, there are still a lot of options that are going to be added in the future.

Here are some examples of themes made with the current version:

And here are some of the current options:

Please let me know if you have any suggestions or run into issues making or using a theme!

if you are dealing with extreme heat or even just. moderate heat in your area right now. 80f/26c is when it starts getting toasty for a lot of people. if you are in a heat wave and you have not done yourself the favor of googling fucking "heat exhaustion symptoms" i am shaking you violently right now. look it up. burn the symptoms into your brain. heatstroke is no joke and it can and WILL sneak up on you before you're aware it's even an issue. ohh my god

if you are outside and it is hot and sunny and you are sweating thru your clothes or feeling tired or starting to get irrationally agitated or upset in another way or feeling nauseous or your heart is pounding etc etc if you are feeling Weird and Bad for no apparent reason while you are in a warm/hot area then i have news for you! you need to cool down! right now! oh my god.

and there's a very good chance that you're gonna think "it's not heat exhaustion, i don't feel any warmer than i have all day" when you consider it as a reason why you are suddenly feeling weirdbad for no apparent reason during a record-breaking heatwave and i would like to say. there is no harm in sitting in the shade and drinking some water even if heat exhaustion isn't the cause of whatever ailment is inflicting itself upon u. once i swore up and down to my bf that i was just kinda tired and headachy and got bitchy about the possibility of being overheated and needing to drink water. because heat exhaustion tends to make you bitchy. but i did as he asked and drank some cold water and my condition immediately improved. because it was heat exhaustion and heat exhaustion is evil and a liar. sit down. drink water

When you do drink that water, make sure you’re drinking it slowly as well and taking breaks, don’t chug it